What exactly is sinful about sex before marriage?

Rape is sinful. An adult sleeping with a minor is sinful. And perhaps even minors sleeping together is sinful, in light of what the ramifications may be. But two adults making a conscious decision to colonize each others’ bodies is not something I would ever regard as sinful, no matter how immoral it might portray me as. I’m uncomfortable with the idea that seeks to suggest that the wages of marriage is sex, because it implies that those who don’t subscribe to the belief in the institution of marriage are naturally prohibited from consummating their mutual attraction to each other through sexual intercourse. The problem with this reasoning is that it presupposes that sex is ONLY about creating a spiritual connection when in fact, sex is primarily about reproduction.

The mortal human species, like all mortal animal species, is in a quest to survive, and in order to achieve this, it must necessarily reproduce itself. Until the ushering of the age of artificial insemination, the only method of reproduction was through a sexual interaction between species of the opposite sex. This is not just a historical or spiritual construct, it is a biological one. So human-beings don’t have sex primarily to consummate love but rather, to preserve and achieve immortality through ensuring the survival of their fallible species. Furthermore, not every man or woman wants to be married, and there’s nothing sinful in not wanting to be married. Marriage is essentially about commitment and building something, and it is not impossible to be committed and to build something profound without being bound by some legal and religious contract. I am personally largely indifferent about the idea of marriage. I might want to get married, I might not. But this doesn’t imply that I don’t want to spend my life with someone who grows me, to whom I’m committed and with whom I desire to build and create a conducive environment for living.


  1. I’m back again because Mwene specifically asked me to.
    And my stand hasn’t change.
    One thing that struck me is you saying you refuse to accept sex before marriage as sin ‘no matter how immoral it may portray you as’ implying that there is an undertone of immorality somewhere in that thought process of yours.
    Well, it is your right to have your opinion and to voice it too.
    Nice one. But why do you want a companion even when you don’t want to get married?

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