Today is one year since the absurd rape on the bus in India, as a result people have suggested arming girls, youth ministers have told women against wearing miniskirts; We must look beyond the reactionary impulse to just give women more pepper-spray or teaching them martial arts. Instead, we need to teach men not to rape. And it’s not about a woman simply saying “no,” it’s really about making certain she’s saying yes.Young men should be taught to see women’s humanity, instead of seeing them as sexual objects there for male pleasure. Teach young men how to express healthy masculinity: We need to turn that paradigm around,Yes, sure, the sociopaths and psychopaths will do harm and will stop at nothing to get what they want, but they are not born, they are made. Most women are raped by someone they know, someone they trust. A guy they know at a party, a friend, a date, etc., and this sort of pervasive patriarchal rape culture is what allows “good” guys, like the guy who lives down the hall from you in your neighborhood, to go beyond the bounds of consensual sex and commit rape. Most of the time it’s a guy who thinks it’s ok to take advantage of a woman because he’s been conditioned to think that if he buys her dinner or takes her out she’s obligated to sleep with him. I have always said girls you need to be independent, the concept of being taken for outings and ice cream sometimes comes at a price. If a girl says no, stop! If she is pushing you away, stop! No matter how drunk, how much you think she wants it. Because if you stop and she actually wants it, she will let you know. Sex should be an agreement, not a conquest
Note. I wrote this piece on 16th December, 2013 one year after the absurd rape of a medical student on bus in India
I totally agree with you.
This issue of sexual assault is one that I am very sensitive and passionate about because I think I have lost count of how many times I have escaped being raped or molested.
Note that it is not because I am stronger or smarter than other victims. I feel that God allowed me to be able to be a voice for others who may be stigmatized or feel ashamed to tell their story. I can relate with them because I have been there.
We cannot keep quiet. We must continue to spread the word until it sinks into the ears of every male and female living on the surface of this earth that Sex should be an agreement!
Thank you for this and no matter how old this post is, it still resonnates in our present reality.
It really does stem from the entitlement to a woman’s body. Every single person should be sensitized and there should be more stringent consequences to perpetrations.
Also, we need to abolish the shaming of victims.