Que sera sera

Tuesday the 12th was Amanda’s birthday, Amanda is my nutritionist and guides on the food quality,quantity intake. When a debilitating stroke visits you, one of the ways to manage it is rehabilitation which includes and is not limited to a good nutrition. I have been introduced to meals like Pumpkin porridge and Chinese cabbage. Meen the foods that exist. So I place a call to Amanda and after the greetings, I say happy birthday, well the response is what matters at my end it shows that the words have been heard. Amanda and I go back to almost two decades ago in Senior one Red at MACOS as we then called it. She was in Kabalega house the house that flunked in sports and performing arts. Whereas Life may have ghosted us, we kept in touch. Mornings are the best time to call because that’s when the Nervous System is awake and strong and that’s when I am audible.

This post is inspired by Benjamin’s introspections. I now wake up to live ,the quality of that life which I wake up for is for another day. Musa does fine political commentary, he takes you to Somaliland and before you know it you are in Eritrea. This year he promised that he will write about the American Sanctions and I’m still waiting. The post about the third floor got me thinking and I said, wait have I not written something along the subject. I went digging into my life journal and to be exact August 2016. I was 26 eating away my twenties and jumping on to the third floor. The place was House of Java I waited for her to come from office, she did not disappoint, she was on time and she arrived and handed me a book and asked, “have we placed orders? ” I reproduce the entry six years ago. Writing has always been my thing though I was a laazy blogger

” I just a got gift from a Friend, its a classic Milan Kunderas Book, “The Unbearable Light of Being” She signs off “30 is not the new 20’s”. Suddenly it hits you that in a months time another year shall wind down. You are surely eating up the twenties so you self- evaluate. And you re-watch Meg Jays Ted Talk, During our 20s, the human brain experiences its second growth spurt. In a sense, we rewire ourselves for the remaining years of life. As a result, it can be harder for some people to plan for the future and accept the consequences for present actions. Others continue to stay distracted and avoid making any decisions whatsoever. But what we hear less about is that there’s such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development. There’s a problem that I call relative failure syndrome. Relative failure syndrome refers to our low self-esteem induced perspectives of what failure is, which is informed not by our experiences and authentic feelings, but by the comparisons we make with those around us. Then you think why not “get identity capital,” by that I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that’s an investment in who you might want to be next. This is the best gift I have received so far. I have never had a moment of intuitive self reflection.”

Writing especially self reflection has been therapeutic especially right now that I am in the company of walls as I can’t get out without assistance. I have thus adapted and speak with the keyboard.Third Floor for me , I had a vision of perhaps having the Masters and writing a PhD and it was well because the acceptance from the University of Pretoria for a fully funded Masters came in December 2016. But who was the recipient? A dumb and paralyzed soul,fighting to live and survive. Whatever plans I had came falling like a pack of dominoes. I was back to age one and had to learn again and I am learning. The last years have not been easy. I would never wish for anyone to walk in my shoes,I know not what plans life has. Will I be better, will I be prosperous. The answer is what will be will be Que sera sera, the future is not ours to see.