We don’t remember days, we simply remember the moments. And as for me, I remember with songs. A song has the ability to speak to you especially the lyrics. So the title of this story is inspired by the song, “Cinderella”, by Stephen Chapman.
Cinderella was written after the tragic accident that took Steve’s daughter, she was playing in the compound. Unknown to Steve’s older son, when he was reversing the car, he crashed her with the back tyre. Its a tragedy losing a young one but a double tragedy when they die in your hands, that’s what had happened to the Steve Chapmans family.
Well the events were somewhat different with Shibas demise, at least one thing was common in the two circumstances; a young soul had lost their lives tragically. Another song that I reasonated with was,”candle in the wind” by Elton John. Actually after getting the sad news, I remember going to my place and playing that song on constant replay as grief overcame me. I broke down and everything made no sense, I pleaded with God that at least he should have taken me, I reasoned that at least I had spent enough time than Shiba. I added, that perhaps I wasn’t the best Christian, so I deserved the wages of my not so good deeds.
Grief has the ability to make you reevaluate your life. And I saw that first hand, and the last song on the memory lane is a song by Labyrinth, in it he was singing about the ex and the first line goes like, “I am jealous you are happy without me”, we have a way we let songs speak to us, so I turned this song to talk about Shiba. In my mind I pictured the little soul in heaven playing with angels with her smile so bright. That’s how I interprete those songs up to now.
The Palestinians have a saying that nothing is heavier than a childs coffin. This they say because a young one brings so much grief. I felt that when I carried Shiba’s coffin, intact I refused to carry Shiba’s coffin to her final resting place because of that effect, I relegated myself to carrying her portrait and leading the pall bearers, that , was less heavy both physically and emotionally.
And lowered were her remains and the undertakers did their usual job, these folks have such gusto. Its amazing, from the way they mix the concrete to the way they seal the grave, its like they are ensuring that the departed doesn’t come back.
Shiba you will never be forgotten.