Friendship is everything. Friendship is more than talent. It is more than the government. It is almost the equal of family.- Don Corleone” ― Mario Puzo, The Godfather. Friends are the relatives we make outside our blood relations and this happens in school, work places and other environments where we interact, Daisy was a law school classmate and in her I found a sister. Life ghosted us but we continued chasing the ‘Ugandan dream’ as I may call it. We linked up in other circumstances and this time, she was with Andrew and Joan
Andrew and Daisy have walked with me in all the years from the time Andrew proposed to Daisy up to now and I am regularly touch with them.
When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people but as I grew older my admiration waned as I found kind people more gracious and admirable. Most intelligent people talk to me in their free time, kind people free their time to talk to me. Last year in the festive holidays on the 28th, I got a call from Daisy and guess who was on my mind then, the lovely Anchor and I asked about him and found out that it was his birthday then,28th December is a day for children in the traditional faith Church,it marks the day King Herod ordered for the killing of the children in order to kill Jesus after the three Wise men had met Herod and he was unsettled by the birth of a new King. So the festival days are for strictly family but the Kasujja’s had me on their mind.
Today I will distinguish between Sympathy and Empathy,these two are emotional responses to a happening but they are different. Empathy and sympathy are both important emotional responses, but they differ in how they connect to the feelings and emotions. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and experiencing their emotions as if they were your own. An Example, If a friend is grieving the loss of a loved one, feeling empathy means you feel their pain and sorrow deeply, almost as if it were happening to yourself, you go to the vigil and stand with them that is empathy. You stand in their shoes and walk in it to understand how it feels.Sympathy is the feeling of pity or sorrow for someone else’s misfortune. It involves recognizing someone’s suffering and expressing concern or compassion, but not necessarily experiencing their emotions as your own.
The key differences are;
Emotional Connection Empathy involves a deeper emotional connection where you feel what the other person is feeling, while sympathy is more about acknowledging their emotions and expressing care without deeply feeling those emotions yourself.
Empathy requires imagining yourself in the other person’s situation, whereas sympathy involves understanding their situation from your own perspective.
I will perhaps paint a small picture, right after paralysis I was in a wheelchair and one of my friends came to see me, when he saw me, he remarked,”Roland last year I hurt my foot and couldn’t walk for days and I was in a wheelchair” Now please do understand that friend of mine, I think he was merely sympathetic but didn’t help because how was his statement supposed to make me feel better? In life sometimes we end up being sympathetic but like I say,2025 we can do better.
Andrew and Daisy like I have written have walked with me for the last seven years, you can read about our journey here . The Kasujja’s are very empathetic people, they had a plan in mind to come check on me but surprise me with the little Kasujjas especially Anchor the main man of the day and cut cake together this was heartfelt. This was the first time I was seeing them in person, I always see them in still and moving photos. I was super excited especially when they began introducing themselves and especially when they began mentioning the attributes of the Kasujjas. Andrew and Daisy thank you for that character development and identity capital, sometimes the best capital we can bequeath to the little ones is character because it opens every door in life, I thank you. I then requested that Asante sings for me and the young choir began singing as we sang along, Anchor wanted to add his voice and Andrew realized that he was going to distract and he carried him. We cut cake together and wished good life and blessings for Anchor.
Dear Andrew and Daisy, your thought of me and visit with the little ones was the greatest highlight of December for me, the fact that you freed up your time to come see me made my heart full . Happy Second birthday to my dear Anchor.
Mwene 