Body insecurities

She will ask you. The questions that have no right answers. Case in point, “Do you think I have gained weight?” Ha! Like you can tell them they have gained weight and it will end there? Please! So you will ask the safest question universally? “Why I dont see anything?” And she will say, “Because I met Ruth, remember that chick I used to work with? She said I have gained weight” You will silently curse Ruth (for telling the truth) and then pretending to look at her critically you will say cautiously, “Well, I don’t think you have gained anything.” And she will say, “I think I have gained a bit, that red dress is so tight on me nowadays, plus the other blue jean I no longer put it on, ohh wait… you dont notice…” (Oh look! She asked and answered her own question!). You will keep quiet because that’s what smart men do. Then she will ask, “But I haven’t gained too much, naawe?” And you will say, “Well, no,” (which is a trap because now you have admitted that she has gained some weight and your life will shortly turn into hell). She will act like she isn’t bothered, that she has moved on, that she is comfortable being a ‘larger’ woman and then when you have completely forgotten that conversation, when you are vulnerable, “I thought we agreed we’d be honest with each other? Now tell me am I fat or faaat? The chubby brigade will argue that they are more peaceful as they curse the bony battalion

The other gender is funny, today they don’t want to gain weight, tomorrow,they want to have some flesh. One needs to be smart because the questions we are asked are leading, in that they prompt the answer required. Most women will fear ageing, loneliness and getting fat. As for men, the moment we have trouble seeing our shoes while standing straight, it’s a sign that the tummy has expanded and time to do hit the gym and get back in shape. A ketogenic diet of high fat, moderate protein and low carbohydrates is likely to be adapted but ONLY on recommendation of a dietitian/wellness coach